The Off Label

🕵️‍♂️ Privacy Policy

Your data isn’t currency here. But just in case that ever changes, here’s the fine print. We respect your autonomy, not your cookies.

Last updated: July 24, 2025

Welcome to The Off Label, a site that dispenses mischief in measured doses, not malware.

We take your privacy seriously. Not “we-made-you-click-through-17-menus-to-find-this” seriously. Actually seriously.

1. What We Collect

Right now?
Nothing.
No cookies. No Google Analytics. No newsletter sign-ups. No weird tracking pixels named after birds.

You're just here, reading. And we love that for you.

But we reserve the right to grow up one day and install:

  • Google Analytics (to see which rabbit holes people like falling into)
  • Cookies (the digital kind, not the chewy kind—sorry)
  • Newsletter forms (for those who want regular doses of strategic mischief)
  • Embedded content (like YouTube videos, or philosophical memes in iframe form)

If and when we do, we’ll update this page faster than you can say “third-party data broker.”

2. If/When We Collect

If you voluntarily sign up for anything (newsletter, secret society, carrier pigeon updates), we’ll collect just enough info to make it happen, likely your name and email. We won’t sell it. We won’t share it. We won’t even whisper it to ourselves in the mirror.

We use this info for:

  • Sending you stuff you explicitly asked for
  • Occasionally letting you know what we’re up to
  • Avoiding spammy behavior, because we hate it too

3. Third Parties

We don’t currently use any third-party services that collect your data. But if we ever do, they’ll only be the kind we trust enough to let babysit our brand voice.

You’ll be told. You’ll be shown. No shady handoffs.

4. Your Rights

You can always:

  • Ask what info we have (if any)
  • Ask us to delete it
  • Ask why we're so charming (we might not answer that one)

Just contact us and we’ll make it happen.

5. Changes

This policy may evolve. Like us.
Any changes will appear here. No surprise drops or quiet edits. This is the footer, not a Taylor Swift album.

TL;DR:
We’re not tracking you. Yet.
If we ever do, you’ll know.
No tricks. Just transparency (with a side of style).